True Love

You may not have perfect attendance in my everyday encounters but you made sure that you were always there when I needed you. You were working 24/7 because you wanted me to have a wonderful future thinking that the money you have poured out in my education and possessions were enough to satisfy my dire need for attention. I excelled in school but not in my ability to immediately belong in society. I was different.

I was 10

You saw that I was growing up quick but you let me experience life. You saw how I rose to the top and how I fell to the ground. You were all ears and even tears, they rolled down on your eyes after hearing how I have suffered but you knew this was just another learning experience and the best you can do is to support me and hold my hand. You worked harder and harder as your eldest child learns to enjoy life.

I was 12

You have seen my imperfections but still loved and cared for me endlessly. I focus on impressing my friends that I have forgotten what makes you smile. I make mistakes but you continue to help me. I push you away but you bring yourself near every time to make me feel that you have not given up in loving me, for me. I tell you my achievements and you respond with a simple response but I hear from all my relatives how proud you are of me.

I was 15

You knew that I was not the best but continued to let me do what I want to do. Then came a time when I knew I was not enough for society and then, I wondered why you never pushed me hard to become best in what I do.. you answered me, “because you were good enough for me. You seemed happy in what you were doing so we did not want to put any pressure.” You were rooting for me not because I was good at what I was doing rather you wanted me to appreciate the simple joys I had. You continue to pay for my hobbies to sustain my happiness.

I was 18

You knew I was having a hard time and you still gave me your time despite your current sufferings. You knew you had much more to give up for this decision for our perceived success in a new environment. It was tough for me and I was selfish to think of my own challenges as the worst that could happen. You cried with me and finally, have become vulnerable of your own reasons for your tears. I am grateful for opening your heart to me. Now, I understand. I, too, am crying with you.

I have been aiming for so many things to prove my love for you. I became extremely busy trying to reach for the stars when I have forgotten to look around that while I was flying high, I have lost touch with you and even though you were looking up to me, I still felt alone. You reminded me that I did not need to do anything to make your proud because you already are. You tell me every time, “You are our pride. You are the reason that we continue to live and work. You never fail us. All we want you to become is healthy and happy. The achievements that you bring to this family? They are also important but to us, they are just additional assets that make us happy that not only are you happy but you are doing really well. We love you.”

I could not get it but everyday, you prove through your actions, that you care a lot. I have learned that this is what true love is. Love does not have to be extravagant. It can be the little things that you do like remembering birthdays, cooking for a meal, fixing the house, going home early to talk, and giving hugs. You cook our meals, drive me to work when I sleep late the night before, learn as much in order to catch up with my growing knowledge, book trips for us to see different places, and shower me hugs & kisses.

I am 22 and I am continuing to learn more about the definition of love but one thing is for sure, I love my parents, forever and always. ❤

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Why you gotta be so rude?

I have always wondered what passion is supposed to feel like? When you want to pursue something, is it supposed to normally feel uncertain and awkward before you step into it? Or is it supposed to feel so exciting that the nervousness is just an added spice to balance the state of being so high up?

I always seek adventures and opportunities that will bring new perspective into my life. The desire to feel like the world wants me in it pushes me to actually run after them. But it’s hard, it hurts.. and that’s how it should feel.. for now. Why does love have to be so rude? Why does it attract you then leaves you hanging later on?

The biggest challenge is that this person that I’m competing is not anyone but myself. I just recently found out about this amazing Facebook page called berlin-artparasites and the posts here are so mind-blowing because you will realize how true it is but at the same time, how hidden it is in our society. This society has its own standards of excellence and we follow it.. forgetting the fact that we are our own standards of excellence. I have been carrying such weight of trying to understand what is right and what is wrong without considering what my heart aches for or what my values stand for.

It is all so intricate, life. Every detail of it and that’s how meticulous I am. Then again, something hit me. Why contemplate on things that do not need any contemplation? Why complicate things when it’s already simple? Why try to control things that are not meant to be controlled? Three reasons why:

As a human being, I want to adapt to belong.

I observe people to be able to adapt. I thought that being flexible is an excellent characteristic to possess but unfortunately, it is not for most of the time. It’s good to understand what’s happening around you and to be able to see what is moral in their own terms and what is considered a taboo; however, the more abstract things like our values must stay intact. This is where our beliefs are shaken and tested, our personalities questioned and possibly misunderstood by some people. Our experiences shape our current identities but at the same time, if we are too flexible then it will be difficult to actually acknowledge who we really are. (our true strengths and weaknesses, our personality and characteristics.. which is which)

Solution: Know yourself. Do self-assessments at least twice a year to be more clear on who you truly are and what you value the most.

As a human being, I want to understand to be understood.

There are times that I had to be certain of the outcome but then I realized that I cannot simply control everything. It was this notion that I always had the power to change and bring impact to my surrounding. I can, you can, and we all can; however, there are certain limitations that only we would know for ourselves. For example, I always try to analyze my surrounding and act upon what is expected. This can be good in a professional setting but when it generally comes to life, it can be a trick. It now becomes a challenge to ask you how much of my life truly represents who I am.

Solution: Understand yourself first then everything else will fall into place.. eventually. Be patient and open to new experiences. You will be misunderstood and that is normal, you cannot please everyone nor can you expect them to understand when you explain your circumstances to them. Love YOU!

……..

Life is not rude, it never was and never will be. I was the one who was making it seem rude. Life is beautiful and just like us, without the imperfections, it will not blossom into something worth fighting for.

Perseverance

I believe that everything happens for a reason but how does that work when I also believe that in order to get to my desired destiny, I have to work as hard as I could. In every commitment I get involved in, I put in my 1000000%. What role does fate play in that belief? It can be quite complicated but for the past few conversations and small encounters with life that I have had, I was able to develop my own understanding.

I was talking with my grandfather yesterday and even though he repeats his stories at least 5 times (either because he was really happy to share it or to emphasize on it), he was able to stress how life happens as it is. We have no absolute control over what will and will not happen nor can we play with the relativity of time. He repeated how he saw his ancestors were taken away one by one and now, he knows that he is next but it does not stop him from living his life. I love him so much and am always amazed with the enthusiasm and perseverance he upholds in his daily life no matter what his past dictates. It was a rough ride for him to get where he is right now but he did not show how he was a prisoner of what had happened rather rather he represented the battles he have fought by becoming a dignified man of his own values. It was an inspiration to see and witness! 🙂

Life creates so much obstacles for us to surpass but aren’t those blessings in disguise? I had a class discussion where we were asked whether hard work can get us ahead in life. Of course, we had different perspectives.

  • Yes, there are endless possibilities, you just have to keep moving forward
  • It depends. The obstacles are different for everyone. Some were privileged to receive more than what they deserve. That’s life, it still has to go on.
  • No, this world is such a cruel place where there is no equity, whatsoever.

These were not exact answers but rather a summary of what was discussed. What can I say? In my opinion, the hurdles are there way before due to history and these are not something that we can just remove overnight. However, there are ways and that if I want to achieve something, I will keep working hard. It’s true, sometimes. Everyone is entitled to have a good life.

what can be our worst enemies? timing and luck.

Patience is good because once our ambitions take over our lives, then we lose track in who we really are: human beings. I learned this the hard way but opportunities are worthless unless we were able to apply what we have learned in our very own lives. I used to grab every single opportunity that passes me by and it was fun until I felt really overwhelmed with all the information I was trying to understand to be able to hold true in my every day challenges. We all have different paces. My reflective trait made it harder for me transition to reality. I knew that I will be more successful if I had the time to absorb what was thrown at me, especially if it was something new. I learned to understand the difference between what I wanted and what I needed. It was a struggle that made me stronger and let me become the person I am today and to become tomorrow.

Luck is tricky. My opinion? It’s all about the positive vibes and when do I experience these? I believe that one’s peace of mind comes from having to balance humility with confidence. Easier said than done but totally possible. When life throw rocks at you, build a castle, remember?? Stay true to who you are. Collect your thoughts and have a pro-active response in fighting your battles. Things may not always go as planned but keep moving forward and stay optimistic. Every little thing will be alright. 

If you have IG, you have to follow @thegoodquote. They’re so amazingggg! My fave as of the moment: “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” ❤

With that being said, I want to update you with my adventures!! I just got accepted in our school’s Summer Study Abroad program. See you soon, Germany!!

Life is a Maze and Love is a Riddle

Most accurate definition of life? NA

It is definitely a maze that does not have a finish line.. maybe it does, but who knows where it could be. What interests me so much about life is its inconsistencies and uncertainties. Those two things were my biggest fear back then but now, I have (am trying still) learned to appreciate its significance in many aspects.

Bad thing? Anything can happen and everything can change in an instant.
Good thing? Same.

Titanic was a favourite of mine and I will never forget what Jack said, “I love waking up in the morning not knowing what’s gonna happen or, who I’m gonna meet, where I’m gonna wind up.”. I mean, it is certainly easier said than done but what will our lives look like if we actually start living in the moment. (and not just taking pictures to “reserve” it) Look at this amazing yet practical article to know some little steps on how to reminisce memories from our hearts, feel nostalgic, and play it clearly in your head.

I am not against photography.. that will be hypocritical of me, I actually am a wanna-be apprentice on that category. I love pictures and Instagram-ing but sometimes, I feel like I must experience the moment rather than finding the perfect angle and edit it for my peers to see and like. — interesting thought I will want to discuss more in my future posts

The world is filled with wonder and even though how many times you have heard that life is short, we cannot deny that fact. My life is like a roller coaster where as a social introvert, I am struggling balancing both of my external and internal energies. I like to keep myself busy but the more commitments I get ahold of, the more the maze gets trickier. It is an exciting thought but being too busy must not be an excuse to live to your fullest. 

How about love, please give a definition? Speechless. 

Just phrase or two maybe: love is God, my family, and loved ones; it is supposed to happen when it’s supposed to happen
(Any thoughts on love, my dear word-pressers?)

To end the post, let us joyously end the day the way Lenka ended her song, “Just enjoy the show”!

By the way, Happy Sunday folks! && Happy Thanksgiving. 🙂