Relativity of Courage

We are taught at a very young age, by society and by most media platforms, to challenge ourselves all the time.. to be able to look beyond our fears and weaknesses and to just keep moving forward no matter what happens.

This does not turn out well for everybody. One of which is myself. The ideal journey is I will keep fighting until I get to achieve my greatest dreams. Here’s the catch: I don’t know what my dream is just yet. If you do, please enlighten me with some advice. If you don’t, welcome to reality! This is a common challenge for most people and we become blinded because we are too focused to persevere and work hard that we lose focus of what’s important: our identity and our values. Working hard towards a goal is AMAZING but we must fully be involved in the process and the purpose of the goal.

Just recently, I turned down an amazing opportunity. I know that I’ve been worn out and taking on another responsibility at this phase of my life will only make things worse than it already is, in terms of finding the right balance. When I made the decision, I assured myself that there will be no turning back on any “what if’s” because it’s not a healthy habit. It was a hard for me because I am such a YES! person but I know that it is time to take the backseat and let life drive first. It’s been an exhausting ride and I am reaching nowhere.

Courage is not just all about walking towards the edge of life rather it can also mean humbling oneself and knowing one’s limitations. 

My definition of this concept have changed over time. I’m not telling you to change yours but to be open to what I have to got to share. I have learned that courage can also mean stepping back to basics to absorb everything that has happened and to assess who I am and why I do what I do. We say that the easy part is to relax and the challenge is to accept an opportunity; however, I see it differently. I feel that it is so much easier to go with saying yes to every single chance to prove myself and definitely much more difficult to sit back and hear my inner voice. This is a beautiful post by Jamie Varon on ThoughtCatalog about vulnerability and genuinely living your life. 

I was always a flexible person but I have realized that I needed to become more firm with my decisions. This world is filled with things that we can consume, physically, mentally, and emotionally but we must know how to balance and criticize each priority to make sure that it aligns to our values because if not.. then what’s the point of exerting 100000% effort and putting in so much time if the end result is emptiness?

Courage is relative to each person’s experience, depending on their comfort zones and ability to express their passions.

I am an ambivert but leaning towards an introvert, which means that I love having friends and positive energy around me but then, I can only give so much after taking in enough to sustain my enthusiasm for the day. For the past 3 years, I have exhausted every inch of my drive in pursuit of creating an impact to my environment, most especially to people around me. I am not saying that I quit rather, I have come to a point where my comfort zone has been expanded to its largest capability.. where I’m reaching the deadly zone of pushing myself too hard and setting too high standards.

My passion is to help others excel. Like how my brother has kept reminding me, I have done so much and enough at the moment. He knows my desire to bring out the best out of every person I meet but I can only do so much when I myself have not reached the peak of my maturity (in personal growth and experience).

It’s time to look at a different perspective and seek the foundation of my identity again.
It’s time to declutter my mind and find the right balance.
It’s time to explore on my truest personal passions that will equip me to emotionally and mentally take on the world to fulfill my greater purpose.

After all, “in this life, we must find something to live for cause when darkness comes a calling, we go back to where we were before.. cause this life is as fragile as a dream, nothing’s ever really as it seems.”

This does not mean that we have to lay down our dreams for ourselves. Not at all. I am a strong believer of pursuits of happiness. My point is that how will we ever achieve those dreams whether to change the world, end poverty, become a professional athlete, be a world traveler, or even lead a country if we ourselves haven’t understood what makes us unique individuals. It’s a tough journey but definitely a worthwhile one, follow your inner voice and never regret. Please be kind to yourself. 

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